I get into Moods. Today's mood is a combination of Impending Doom and Murderous Rage. Not, you know, literally murderous rage. I wouldn't really so much as throw a pillow at someone. But all the same, when I'm in that mood the smallest little thing makes a furious little imp in my head scream and howl and shake its ineffectual little fists.
"Ineffectual" is the key word today. There are things that I should be doing these days, to be a Good Person. By society's definition of Good, and to some extent by my own definition, I should be providing loving thoughtful focused support to someone. And I can't. Or I don't want to.
The fact that I can't tell the difference is part of the frustration. I suppose that the two merge together; I don't want to, and the frustration and anger that I feel when I try to put on even a show of the right feelings means that the show doesn't work, so as a result, I can't.
Or something.
Go ahead. Be a raving bee-otch. You'll feel better, trust me!
ReplyDeleteVery nicely done. This reminds me of something my friend Pat would say while he was stoned. Getting stoned with smart people reminds of how dumb I really am...
ReplyDeleteYo, Olfacata! Sadly, I seem to stil be in growl and kick-the-furniture mode. Maybe I'll break out one of these days...
ReplyDeleteHey, JAB! Hmm. So I appear stoned when I'm extremely cranky? This is an interesting thought. :)
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