Friday, December 2, 2011

Ramble: Soap Challenge


I just took a bubble bath. I'd used up my previous fancy bar of soap, so I cracked open the box around a new bar of Pacifica Tuscan Blood Orange soap. The soap itself was, as usual tightly wrapped in shrinkwrapped plastic, and, as usual, it resisted my efforts to open it with my fingernail. I would normally find something to stab it with. But this time, I found myself vaguely staring at it, and my brain said, "Oh, never mind."

There's something wrong with my brain this week. And part of last week. Rather suddenly, it's doing an awful lot of "Oh, never mind." There are frequent and growing intervals of just-don't-care. And I don't know why. I don't know if I'm depressed. I don't know if it's the lack of sunlight as winter deepens; that never seemed to happen to me before. I don't know if it's stress. I am worried about several things, but I'm always worried; I'm worried fifteen hours a day, with eight hours off for sleeping and some momentary distractions here and there. I've been that way since... OK, I don't remember not being that way, so that's not it, or that's not it alone, so what...

Oh, never mind.

Image: By Roberta F. Wikimedia Commons.
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5 comments:

  1. queen_cupcakeDecember 2, 2011 at 5:24 AM

    Maybe your brain is just filtering out things that don't matter a whole lot. That doesn't sound to me as if there is anything especially wrong with it, based on what you've written. I think there are lots of things to be worried about these days, so if you aren't worried, you haven't paid attention. But fifteen hours a day? Hmmm. I guess our brains are always working on something. Just remember you can't always believe what you think. You are not your brain--don't let it boss you around!

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  2. queen_cupcakeDecember 2, 2011 at 5:24 AM

    P. S. Love the kitty!!

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  3. VanessaDecember 3, 2011 at 12:08 PM

    At such times I find hormones a handy scapegoat. I have always been a chronic worrier (taking after my father in that regard), but since I turned 50 have been experiencing mild feelings of doom on and off, though some of these may turn out to be linked to an issue with my heart. My catch all hormone excuse was working just fine though! You could always check your thyroid too - that can play funny tricks if it is out of balance, and often goes undiagnosed.

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  4. MarthaDecember 11, 2011 at 3:58 PM

    Hey, queen cupcake! Yeah, fifteen hours a day has always seemed excessive. I don't know if it's a matter of brain chemistry or brain training, but I want it fixed. So far my brain does seem to be bossing me around.

    Thanks about the kitty!

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  5. MarthaDecember 11, 2011 at 4:01 PM

    Yo, Vanessa! Feelings of doom, yes. I get plenty of those, and I can never tell if they're semi-rational or complete nonsense. I'm sorry about the heart issue. :( I'll consider blaming my hormones; I want something to blame.

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