Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Rambling: I want my brain back!

The theater in my mind is still empty. I find this dismaying. The only thing that my mind wants to get absorbed in is worries. I feel as if I ought to be able to reach and flip a channel knob--"Worries", "Fictional Daydreams", "Hobby Daydreams", "Thinking About Fried Poultry." But the knob is stuck.


Do brains need to be absorbed, all busy with sustained spinning thoughts? Even though I perceive the worrying as unpleasant, does a part of my brain seek it out? Is it a craving, like hunger when your blood sugar is low?

That's often been my theory. The fictional daydreams often seem to provide that absorption. Without them, the worries win.

Oh, and that leaves out the migraine stalking me. Aura. Countermeasures of caffeine and darkness. Headache retreats. Three days later, repeat.


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