Wednesday, April 25, 2012


I'm in a Mood.

I get into Moods. Today's mood is a combination of Impending Doom and Murderous Rage. Not, you know, literally murderous rage. I wouldn't really so much as throw a pillow at someone. But all the same, when I'm in that mood the smallest little thing makes a furious little imp in my head scream and howl and shake its ineffectual little fists.

"Ineffectual" is the key word today. There are things that I should be doing these days, to be a Good Person. By society's definition of Good, and to some extent by my own definition, I should be providing loving thoughtful focused support to someone. And I can't. Or I don't want to.

The fact that I can't tell the difference is part of the frustration. I suppose that the two merge together; I don't want to, and the frustration and anger that I feel when I try to put on even a show of the right feelings means that the show doesn't work, so as a result, I can't.

Or something.

4 comments:

Olfacta said...

Go ahead. Be a raving bee-otch. You'll feel better, trust me!

JAB said...

Very nicely done. This reminds me of something my friend Pat would say while he was stoned. Getting stoned with smart people reminds of how dumb I really am...

ChickenFreak said...

Yo, Olfacata! Sadly, I seem to stil be in growl and kick-the-furniture mode. Maybe I'll break out one of these days...

ChickenFreak said...

Hey, JAB! Hmm. So I appear stoned when I'm extremely cranky? This is an interesting thought. :)

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