Saturday, June 28, 2014

Vignette: Nonsense

"Let's sit over there."

"On the grass?"

"You did say a picnic."

"A picnic doesn't have to be on grass. It can be on a picnic table."

"It's not a picnic if it's on a table."

"A meal on a picnic table isn't a picnic?"


"Did you miss the name?"

"It's not my problem if they mislabel a piece of furniture. A picnic requires that you sit on a flat surface. Preferably with a blanket. A meal eaten on one of those tripping hazards is a cookout."

"Tripping hazards?"

"You have to climb over that support thing when you sit at a picnic table. I always trip."

"After how many beers?"

"None. Your burger's getting cold."

"They could use that as a sobriety test."

"I have to be back at work in an hour."

"The cops stop you, the breathalyzer's out of batteries, they pull the portable picnic table out of the trunk."

Image: Wikimedia Commons.


  1. Funny! And I agree, there is a semantic issue here - if it says 'picnic' on it, it's a legitimate place to have a picnic. Though those struts *are* very annoying.

  2. Ha ha! I love it when you write like this! :-)

  3. Yo, Vanessa! Yes, but I still can't declare something a picnic unless I'm sitting on the ground. Those little ground-level chairs are marginal.

  4. Howdy, Christine! Thanks. :)