I get into Moods. Today's mood is a combination of Impending Doom and Murderous Rage. Not, you know, literally murderous rage. I wouldn't really so much as throw a pillow at someone. But all the same, when I'm in that mood the smallest little thing makes a furious little imp in my head scream and howl and shake its ineffectual little fists.
"Ineffectual" is the key word today. There are things that I should be doing these days, to be a Good Person. By society's definition of Good, and to some extent by my own definition, I should be providing loving thoughtful focused support to someone. And I can't. Or I don't want to.
The fact that I can't tell the difference is part of the frustration. I suppose that the two merge together; I don't want to, and the frustration and anger that I feel when I try to put on even a show of the right feelings means that the show doesn't work, so as a result, I can't.